12/19/2023 0 Comments Psst hey wanna buy some cubesTurned out aligning the iPhones a few inches apart was a lead pipe cinch. I’d rather land the Hindenburg in Lakehurst than try to scan a QR code with my iPhone. “I’ll select Receive, and you can scan the QR code on my iPhone.” Coinbase asked for permission to use my camera. I opened my Coinbase app, selected Send, and specified the type and amount of cryptocurrency to transmit. “You can use crypto for a lot of things, Let’s do the deal.” The crypto is to get you out of Morocco, to Lisbon, to safety.”Įlsa rattled the ice in her glass. “I think you got the wrong movie, sweetheart. But I was starting to smell something other than perfume. “I got the Maltese Falcon.” Her voice warmed me like a summer day, cooled me like a dip in the river, lulled me to sleep like good bourbon. I sat across from her in our usual booth. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world … I could smell her perfume-could smell it a mile off, floating in the air like a butterfly. Sam played As Time Goes By on the piano for the usual group of regulars and deadbeats. It was nearly two in the morning by time I stumbled into Rick’s Accessible Café. But one question nagged at me like a broken record in a dance hall jukebox. Questions about where the crypto was and how to actually spend it. The Uber I took smelled like fast food and sloe gin. I didn’t want my nose to be the next missing piece, so I got out of there. It felt like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple of pieces missing. “You know what happens to nosy fellows? Huh? They lose their noses.”Įddie didn’t answer all my questions. “You're a very nosy fellow.” Eddie opened a switchblade. But, I wondered, where, exactly, was my crypto. Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin … It was a smorgasbord. Once I funded the account with PayPal, I could buy most any crypto I wanted, and some I’d never even heard of, all at market prices. I downloaded the Coinbase app, created my account, and verified my ID in under half an hour. Now, I’m no lunkhead, and Eddie didn’t need to tell me twice. And as for the portfolio, VoiceOver reads each line item, so don’t blow a gasket cause it don’t read the total. “Use the graphics labeler, two-finger tap and hold. “I see my assistant has convinced you not to get bent out of shape about a few little accessibility issues.” Eddie drew on his cigarette. Turned out the chair was pretty comfortable, and the gorilla let go of me. Made me think sitting was better than standing. You think I’m some kind of patsy?”īefore I could lean close enough to get my hands around his neck, Canino grabbed my shoulder. Word on the street is VoiceOver won’t even read the portfolio total. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull. It ain’t exactly accessible, but the Coinbase iOS app takes some of the hassle out of it.” That means submitting a photo of your ID along with a selfie. He flicked ashes on the floor and continued. “Coinbase, eh? I heard it don’t work so well with Safari on a Mac.” “Maybe you should try Coinbase.”Įverything Eddie said was on the level. And I know the guys over at Kraaken won’t look twice at you without your bank account number.” He took another drag off his cigarette. I bet you tried eToro but didn’t care for what passes for accessible at that website. “You seem like a bright kid.” Eddie spoke smoothly, giving the impression he didn’t have a care in the world. And I ain’t giving anybody my bank account number, see? So it’s gotta take PayPal.” “But the broker’s got to have an accessible website. I folded my cane and got right to the point. “I can see you already met my assistant, Canino,” he said, exhaling more smoke than my grandmother’s rumble seat roadster.īehind me, Canino-the walking piece of muscle that had escorted me to my chair with all the respect an airline worker might show a piece of luggage at the end of his shift-grunted. I found him in a back office at the Acme Audio Book Shop, a shadowy figure with his feet on his desk. I asked around, even had to rough up a couple of guys to loosen their tongues. But-call me gutsy, call me stupid-I was gonna look into it and learn what I could. I was alone, and my head was spinning like a merry-go-round at a two-bit carnival.Ĭrypto-I’d heard of the stuff. “You can call me Lady Death,” she told me. How do I get in touch with you? What’s your name?” See a guy named Eddie Mars.” She got up and her dog led her to the door. “I hear about it all the time, but no one knows what it is. “I’m not sure, exactly.” She crossed her legs high, almost knocked my eyes out. “I’m lookin’ for somebody to help me find something,” she said. She smelled pretty as a rose, and her dress swayed like tall grass in a cool summer breeze. I heard a dog’s claws on my linoleum floor, then a lady in high heels. I slapped him with the open palm of my hand and sent him out of the game. The lease had expired, the air conditioner was broken, and a fly crawled across my arm.
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